Taken to Trial

I guess it's been a full three weeks since I last posted. I swear I've wanted to post things but always manage to put it off. I've realized that my blog is becoming no different than any other journal I've tried to keep-- I don't recall ever keeping a journal for more than about a month straight, even on my mission. I'm glad that at least I have recorded my experiences in coming out to my parents. That was the main event that I was looking forward to record as I started the blog. Those were kind of official, well-thought-out posts and I think they unintentionally drew me away from more of a journally feel. So, to get back into posting, I've decided to delay all the serious topics that I've been wanting to write about and have some fun.

Partially inspired by by Original Mohomie's list of signs, I've started to think of evidences for and against me being gay/SSA'd. If I were in a courtroom where I was suspected of being gay, this is the material I'd expect either side to use. These are just some things I thought of after a few minutes, so the lists will definitely grow with time. It's interesting, though, that several of them are pretty recent; it will be interesting to record where I am now and compare it to my earlier and later self.

EVIDENCE FOR:
-I've unknowingly started using glittery lotion. The words "soft shimmer" and even "infused with subtle light reflectors" didn't tip me off. The first time I wore it happened to be the first time I met Danish Boy and he exclaimed, "How cool-- you sparkle!" or something like that, after which Hidden looked at me and said, "You are so gay."
-I have, in a hidden folder on my computer separate from my "straight" music, a collection of music by artists such as Aqua, Backstreet Boys, Clay Aiken, Kylie Minogue, Madonna, and S Club 7.
-Behind my bed is a secret stash of books including In Quiet Desperation, Carol Lynn Pearson's No More Goodbyes, Kim Mack's The Unconquerable Soul, and Jason Park's Resolving Homosexual Problems.
-I'd rather watch one episode of So You Think You Can Dance than a lifetime of sports games.
-Total items in my roommate's medicine cabinet: 6. Total items in my medicine cabinet: 39.
-My web browser checks every four hours for RSS feeds from 31 blogs written by gay Mormons.
-A large portion of my wardrobe is from Express Men; it also includes five scarves and eleven pairs of shoes.
-Three of the last four friends I've had over are feminine enough to cause suspicion. The fourth one happens to be gay too.
-Every look in the mirror includes time spent looking for pluckable eyebrow hairs.
-I was recently enjoying (really enjoying) my first listen to Mika's album Life in Cartoon Motion when I started realizing how gay the album is, especially the song about Billy Brown falling in love with another man. The song about big girls then reminded me of my several of my friends.
-Also on my computer is a collection of 42 music videos or live performances by Britney Spears, totalling 1.5 GB. Wow. Wow.

EVIDENCE AGAINST:
-Musicals just don't do it for me. I felt no deep connection to Mean Girls either.
-I apparently walk like a straight man. I've been told by a reliable source that I couldn't be pegged by my walk.
-I kissed a girl a few weeks ago!
-When it comes to noticing other people's advances, I'm known to be as thick-skulled as any SSG.
-I wore socks with sandals until 2003.
-My favorite music video is The Pussycat Dolls' Buttons (Hey, hot is hot!).
-Shoe shopping is boring to me.
-I have no desire to rid myself of body hair unless, one day, I find it on my back.
-I get crushes on some girls and am nervous talking to them.
-Most people I come out to tell me they never would have guessed. If everyone in the world assumes I'm straight, that's got to mean something, right??

Unfortunately, it looks like the prosecution has pretty strong evidence. Ah, who cares? The facts can be wrong sometimes. That one guy on the jury is pretty cute, though.